It's Frustrating For a Mom to Watch

As most of you know, Katharine wants to be an actress. She loves it and everything about it, including rehearsals and auditions. She misses it when she is not in the theatre or acting, she told me last night. Well, right now, she hates it and it is so heartbreaking to watch. I realize she is tired and over wrought, but she was so sad last night when she got home from rehearsal for Narnia.

First off, we got home at midnight. She got to rehearsal at 5:00. Katharine tells me each night how the kids get yelled at. She tells me how the director tells them not to ask questions. They should not "bother" her with questions. Some of these kids went thru a workshop to be in this play. These are very young kids and for some, this is their first play and perhaps their last! I feel so bad for these kids whose spirit has been broken by this director and the other "adults" in charge. These kids would no sooner sign up for this abuse again next summer, nor probably forget that it was this particular theatre putting on the play from hell for children. I would love to tell this director what I think of her and her tactics and how she is effecting these children. I would love to tell her that she is not doing anybody any good by making examples out of some kids and embarrassing them in front of their fellow cast members. I will say, most of the kids understand what she is doing and are very supportive of the "outcast" of the day. I cannot tell this woman any of these things though. It would be like me going to the school bully and telling him to leave my child alone. My child has to deal with this, not me. Although, if I were a mother of a younger kid, I might just have to jump in.

I realize these kids need to be tough for this complex play. They need to pay attention and work hard to make the show a success. Everything they do reflects on the rest of the cast, crew and the play itself. I can see why the director would get aggravated by kids not doing everything perfectly, the show opens tomorrow night. However, it is a show full of kids. Kids are particularly hard to direct, I would imagine. The way to handle them is not to constantly verbally abuse them. It is not to continuously yell at them. I know from personal experience that it does not work and it can scar for life.

The last few nights I have been at the theatre, waiting in the back, listening to how these mostly young actors and actresses are handled. They are constantly talked down to. They are afraid to ask questions they need to ask. I heard one young boy ask a question and he was told if he were not goofing around, he would have known the answer to that. He is a kid. A five year old. He goofs around! Especially after being in a seven hour rehearsal, ending at midnight! She cannot simply tell him the answer in a nurturing, quiet manner? Of course not, it is the theatre and they need to be professional. If she answered his question, she would have to answer everybody else's.

I have spent countless nights telling Katharine that this is the profession she has chosen. She will be working with lots of people with whom she will not agree, like or respect. She will be fortunate to work with people she likes, agrees with and respects. In this business you need a tough skin, I tell her. She knows. She really does. She is very talented. She is very critical of herself. She shows up on time and she works very hard. She has several costume changes and gets yelled at because she cannot get her wings on. Only one person knows how to put them on and he was there for one costume change last night. These are multi layered costumes. Beautiful costumes, but hard for adults and kids to put on. There is no down time with this play. She is running back stage to change and have her makeup redone after each scene.

It is a tremendous undertaking to put on this play in the six weeks or about that. Especially with the cast being children. My problem is I understand both the director's frustrations as well as Katharine's, but beating them down night after night is no way to solve anything. Katharine hates this play and doesn't want to perform it nine more times. At least last night she didn't think she could. She knows she can and she will. Will she ever work for this playhouse again? Probably. Will she ever work for this director again. Not likely.

The set is beautiful. The costumes are amazing. They have pulled out all the stops to put on a very fine production. Hopefully they will pull it off and everything will come together tomorrow night. I wish success to everybody. I would love to hear how fun it is at the end of the day, but I am unlikely to hear that. Which is the saddest thing of all. This was supposed to be fun!