The Longest Day of the Year

Happy summer. Today is the first day of summer. I always remember this day on the calendar. Thirty-two years ago I was in a horribly run hospital recovering from giving birth to a baby boy the day before. I always remember the date of June 20, 1975, too. It is his birthday. I was fifteen. I remember it all, as if it were yesterday. No meds for the pain because they didn't want to harm the baby who was about twelve pounds. I had no prenatal care. I hid the pregnancy for nine months. I was in a profound sense of denial.

Yesterday I caught part of an Oprah show about a girl who gave birth in her bathroom and then went down to dinner. She did the unthinkable with her baby. She went beyond leaving a baby in a basket. She is in prison for killing her baby. She was scared and hid the pregnancy too. Although, her baby daddy knew too and was the one who disposed of the baby. To most people this is the most unbelievable thing anybody could do. To me, it could have been my reality.

I have sympathy for girls or women who get rid of their babies. I am sure most hope somebody will discover their baby and give him or her a good home. Unfortunately, it doesn't always turn out that way. I know the fear of getting caught being pregnant at such a young age. It was enough to force me to hide my pregnancy until three days before I had him, and then my mother asked me if I was pregnant. I didn't offer up the info. She saved me from being the girl who gave birth in her bedroom and hid the baby or put the baby somewhere so I wouldn't get caught. She saved me from possibly dying during childbirth from blood loss or any number of complications. She saved my baby too. Who knows what I would have done in a couple more days. I was not a terrible person. I was a scared child having a child!

You may wonder how somebody could hide a pregnancy for nine months. You may wonder how my mother or father could not tell I was pregnant. Why my friends didn't know. Why my brothers didn't know. Perhaps my parents were in denial, I don't know. I do know I was excellent at concealing the bump. I wore smocks or sweatshirts. Yes, it was coming up on summer and quite warm, but I managed.

Still, I know the fear these girls face and am thankful for the safe haven laws that let newborns be brought to churches or hospitals, no questions asked. I would like to think I would have chosen this path. I was lucky. Somebody noticed and took action before the birth. I gave my baby boy up for adoption. He turned thirty-two yesterday and I hope he is a happy man with a good life. I hope he has great parents and wonderful childhood memories.

Lying in the hospital the day after having my baby, it was June 21st. I was not in the maternity ward because I was giving my baby up for adoption. I was moved into the general population area. In those days they didn't release you within twelve hours of giving birth. I had to live through the longest day of the year, the first day of summer in the hospital with my family telling everybody I had an appendectomy. Things have changed a lot. I was one of the lucky ones. The hospital is being replaced by a new modern hospital and the old one sits next to it, for now. One day soon, when I pass by, I will not be reminded of that horrible place.