Choices..........Part Ten

The next day Lilly went to school and thought everybody knew she was pregnant. She knew Judy did. Lilly was sure Judy had told everybody. Lilly endured school for the whole day. It was hot and she was wearing a blue hooded sweatshirt and hoped she was hiding her belly.

Lilly switched from her blue sweatshirt to the couple of smock tops that she had for school each day. She had no choice. Only a few items would cover her belly. She realized she was not a slave to fashion at that point. She couldn't be.

Lilly continued to hide the pregnancy for another eight weeks or so. She had not decided what to do. She thought she would just give birth. She had no idea what to do with the baby. She also had no idea the kind of pain that accompanies giving birth. She was clueless and quite literally just made herself think that it would just go away, and tried not to think about it.

After dinner one evening, her mother came up to her room. She asked Lilly if she was pregnant. Lilly started crying and said, "Yes." Her mother started crying and asked if the baby was moving. "Yes," Lilly replied. Her mother asked how many months pregnant she was. Lilly told her she didn't know exactly, but thought she was due any time. Her mother hugged her. Lilly was surprised by that. A slap across the face, she would have expected. Lilly's mother asked why Lilly had not told her or her father that she was pregnant. Lilly told her the story of what her father had said when she was little, and how he told her she better never do that. Lilly's mother said, "Oh, surely you knew he was kidding." Lilly just stared at her mother, thinking, do I look like I thought it was a joke? Lilly asked her mother if she was going to tell her father and her mother told her, "Of course." Lilly was scared to death, not just because she was pregnant, but because her father was going to know very soon.

Lilly's mother left the room. Lilly was crying uncontrollably. She was waiting in her bedroom for her father's wrath. It never came. She didn't want to leave her room. She waited until she thought she could sneak into the kitchen without being seen. The kitchen was dark and she got some water and turned around and her father was standing there.

Lilly froze. Her father hugged her hard and didn't let go for what seemed like forever. Lilly had never been hugged like that before. When he finally let go, he told her everything would be okay. Lilly was shocked. She couldn't even speak. She went back to her room and cried some more. For the first time in months, Lilly felt some relief. Her parents knew, they didn't kill her and they would help her. She was not alone anymore. She fell asleep, almost peacefully.

The next day, her mother took her to a doctor to be checked out. On the way home, Lilly's mother asked Lilly what she wanted to do with her baby. Lilly didn't know. She had actually never thought in terms of it being her baby before. Her baby. Her child. She told her mother she would give her baby up for adoption.

The following day, Lilly and her mother went to Social Services and filled out paperwork for the adoption. SS sent her over to the health department clinic to get a pregnancy test. A pee in the cup kind. Lilly thought that was the most outrageous thing she had ever heard. They could see she was pregnant!

The next night, Lilly was not feeling very well. She was having pains and didn't understand why. She ignored them as they would come and go.


To be continued.........