Dollie

When I was growing up, I always liked my friend's moms that were cool. The moms that let everybody hang out. The moms who didn't faint or want to call your mother if you cussed. The moms that made me feel at home, every time I was there. The moms that made me feel like part of the family....You get the picture.

Not that there were a plethora of moms like that. Probably why they were so special. They were different, almost like contemporaries, to a point. They actually listened and gave advice. Sometimes they even drank with us as teenagers. They let us drink, but not leave, unless sober or driven home. So different than today. Because, you can be sure nobody wants to open themselves up to a lawsuit by parents. Lawsuits have ruined so much fun.

Not that I am against honest people who file law suits. Law suits where somebody was actually wronged and deserves restitution, or to force the bad guy to do the right thing. Sometimes, just the threat of a lawsuit works for the bad guys to do the right thing.

I am against frivolous law suits brought by people who think they have found a way to make a buck. I am against people filing law suits because they know that corporate America will just pay out, to get them to shut the fuck up. Don't need any bad press.

It truly angers me when people pay off the would be plaintiff, because it is cheaper in the long run. If it costs more to hire an attorney and go to court and the time and energy it takes, sometimes it is cheaper to just pay out! Seems so fucked up. The way of the world these days....Anyhow, went off there.

I suppose I should interject here. My husband is a lawyer.

One mom in particular, Dollie, was very special to me. Her daughter was my best friend. Her husband coached a baseball team and we had team parties after every Sunday game. We drank and smoked. Shot pool and swam. We gathered for playoff games, Super Bowl and the World Series. We made pools for the games. We gathered to play cards and backgammon. We played spades and hearts, among others. I learned several ways to play solitaire. Always at their house. On other days I would tell my parents I was at her house and I was with my boyfriend. Not that my parents ever called to locate me. But, Dollie would have covered for me.

Dollie was also the mother who told me when a girl/woman could get pregnant. She got out an calendar and showed me how to figure out the fertile days. Something I really should have known! She knew her daughter, my friend, was pregnant by the end of the first month. Just because she noticed no pads in the trash that month. She rocked! She was truly there, for so many of us.

I have always wanted to be the Dollie for my children's friends. Not nearly to that degree. I would never cover for a kid lying to their mother about their where abouts. But, I want the kids who come here to be able to themselves. I want them to feel at home. If they are hungry, I want them to feel comfortable enough to help themselves to a snack or non alcoholic beverage! Funny, because, I want my kids to always ask before doing something like that at their friend's homes.

I will answer questions honestly as I do with my own kids. I have had occasion to do this with at least one kid. She asked me questions about getting pregnant and I told her what Dollie taught me and my mother did not. Of course, her mother might not be mad at me for that, but her father would be furious. I do not feel guilty about this either. I think knowledge is power and I will gladly empower any child who comes into my home and asks questions.

I do take into consideration their age and what the parents would tell their kids, at some point. I don't offer too much unsolicited advice. And, I only tell them what I think they need to hear about the question at hand. Often times it is easier to ask somebody other than one's own mother. That's where I come in. I am proud of being like Dollie.