Jokes...Only Three

Use yer best Irish accents on this one...

Two guys sitting in a bar.... One says to the other, "Hey, where did you grow up?" Ah, says the other man, "I grew up in Dublin." "Wow," says One, "So did I!" "Just wher deed you go to school?" asks One. "Oh, I went to Saint Marys," says Other. "No way, I went to Saint Mary's too," says One. "Okay, what yeer wer ya born then?" asks One. "Well, I was born in 1965." answers Other. "Holy Mother of all that is sacred, SO WAS I," says One.
A guy walks into the bar and asks the bartender, "So, what's going on tonight Jerry?" "Oh," says Jerry, "The O'Brien twins are fucked up again."


Again in Ireland...A man sits down at the bar and tells the bartender to give him three shots of whiskey. He drinks the shots and leaves. He continues to do this nightly for a couple of weeks. Finally, the bartender asks him, "Hey, you come in here every night ask for three shots and then you leave. "Why three shots?" The man tells the bartender, 'Well, my two brothers and I made a pact years ago, since we cannot be together, then we will all have a shot for each other." That sounded reasonable the bartender. About two months go by and one night the guy comes in and asks for only two shots and goes to sit at a table. The bartender feels awful. He takes the drinks to the guy and says, "I'm sorry about yer brother." "What are ya talking about?" asks the guy. The bartender says, "Ya come in here and have three shots for yer brothers and yourself and tonight only two, so I was thinking something must have happened to one of yer brothers." Says the bartender. "Oh, no, my brothers are fine." says the guy, " I just quit drinking."



A woman takes a photo of her husband to have it retouched. The photographer tells the woman that double breasted suits are out of fashion and would she like him to make it single breasted. The woman agrees. Then she says asks him if he can remove the derby hat. The photographer says, "Sure, but what does his hair look like?" The woman says, "Take off the hat, you'll see!"


I don't remember many jokes, but these three stick in my head. The first two are from my cousin Ronnie, who always remembers jokes. The final one is an old one my husband told me years ago and refreshed my memory this morning. Three of the best joke tellers I know are, my husband, cousin and my sister-in-law Phoebe. Hopefully, they will add more to the comment section!