What Happened to Sir Paul?

I have been investigating the disappearance of Paul McCartney. You were unaware he was missing? I was too, until Saturday, June 25, 2005. He was supposed to be here in our little town, singing his heart out at a benefit concert for the victims of the recent landslide. He was supposed to be the Surprise Guest....And my daughter was to sing in his all kid back-up chorus, with nine other children. But, most of you know this. Hence, my investigation.

I have left no stone unturned in my quest for this missing singer, et al. I have emailed people in the know. I have checked local news outlets. I have phoned people. I have asked people I have seen. Not very many are talking. Hmm...Wonder if it was a hoax...Wish I could look that up online, hoaxes and urban legends...Perhaps it is my turn to report one....

I sent an email to somebody today. My sources are confidential. Sorry. I asked this person if we were duped so we would hang out all day, on a beautiful day, not too bad, and told with each act that Sir Paul was coming up next, very, very bad. Until late evening, when it was announced Sir Paul was not coming. All the while our child singers were kept behind yellow tape, confined together in a room. Just like real celebrities, not even the parents could get to them. Careful what you wish for people.

This person was quite informed, and in his opinion, yes, we were duped. Big time. Apparently, the same group of people who ran this concert pulled the very same lame ass trick the week before. Except, the big Surprise Guest was supposed to be Jackson Brown. Well, Brown makes more sense. He is in America for one thing. He did perform at a home here during the presidential run. So, that was not so far fetched. He is for the little guy as well. But Sir Paul has his mind on land mines and making more babies and was probably not even in the country. The words ethically challenged came up about somebody in the group who ran the concerts...Understatement and kindly put in my opinion.

Apparently, the sound stage and lighting cost twenty grand for the concert at our beautiful little coastal school. Although, underwritten, not something that goes with a fund raiser. The money would have been better spent on the victims themselves, yes? Of course, the local bands were stoked with their stage. I wondered why they did not name Sir Paul as a headliner, then justified it to myself by believing the concert organizers didn't want too many people. However, during the concert they advised the crowd to get on our cell phones and call our friends to tell them Paul McCartney was still coming! All the while knowing perfectly well they were fucking with our heads, time and wallets. I think this may warrant my next super-sleuthing abilities. This certainly does not bode well for future victims or future benefit events in our town. It is hard enough to convince potential donors that not all are rich here!

I do know they DID make a lot of money. I just wonder how much will get to the landslide victims. I am also concerned about this ruse to attract a bigger crowd. We would have donated to the cause. We didn't need to be blatantly lied to. It is unconscionable in my opinion. Why has the press not jumped on this...I dare say because there is one more fund raiser coming up this weekend? Surely the press is not involved in this plot to extort money from unsuspecting locals.

What I do know about Paul McCartney...He did purchase a home in Pasadena, CA in May for a mere 7.6 million. I think he is probably still renovating a dump like that, and not staying there yet. LMAO....He is scheduled to begin his US tour in September. On Saturday, he will lead the Make Poverty History march to Edinburgh, Scotland and then make his way down to play in the Hyde Park Live8 concert. He has written a children's book to be released in October, called High in the Clouds: An Urban Furry Tail.

So, even after my super-sleuthing, I cannot say for certain where he was this past Saturday. I believe from everything I have read, he is in fact in England, not America. It is not his fault that he did not attend a concert, he probably didn't know about.
Thus completing my search for him and ending our grimm fairy tale. Okay, bad pun...It wasn't so grim. Just made me curious. And, Sir Paul is not really missing. He has know where he was all along.