Last Nights Drama

Last night was my cuzbro's birthday bash. As you may know my youngest brother was bringing his ex, now back together for the fourth time, and my nephew who has become quite accomplished at playing the guitar. He is thirteen.

Problem was my cuzbro and his wife, my cuzsis, invited my very great friend and a good friend of theirs as well, to this bash. My brother dated her after his wife kicked him to the curb ten years ago. When my brother broke up with my friend Jana, I got her in the split! We have been great friends ever since. We talk daily or email several times a day.

I posted about this in a titled post called "Here is the Story," on the 17th...To get background if you so desire....This is the follow up.

Cuzbro and cuzsis are such great people. They live in the town where they grew up, in LA County. They have a ton of awesome friends. Cuzbro is an artist and so are many of his friends. Some of them teach art, including my cuzbro. And cuzbro has a bunch of musician friends who get together once a week to play. They are called the Porch Bastards. They are great and they play a plethora of instruments and sing too. My brother always played at the parties too. Then he moved in with them for a while and he became one of the once a week players. Then he moved and didn't get together with them weekly anymore. Although he continued to play when he came to a bash at their house.

Last night there were about fifteen Porch Bastards playing and they sounded great. All in all, around fifty people showed up. They have an old Craftsman house, built in 1915, I believe. It has rooms upon rooms, etched glass windows in the closets, nooks and crannies all over the house, beautiful moldings on the ceiling and walls. Just a very cool house! A huge back yard that looked beautiful last night and a fabulous front porch.

Before I go on about the party, I will go back a bit. We all knew that Jana was coming. We also knew that my brother's ex was not going to like it. But, this was cuzbro's birthday party and he could invite whomever he wanted! We didn't tell my brother the guest list. On Friday, the girls and I got home and there were two messages on the machine. First, was from my brother's last girlfriend, whom we love, and she said she was just calling to say hi. The next message was from my brother telling me to call him at work. The girls and I laughed and I said, "Oh, this cannot be good."

Next thing I do is email the ex girlfriend to see if she knows something I should know before I call my brother. Her response was, that their leaving messages next to each other was a coincidence, and my brother is dead to her! LOL I get that. It's recent and raw. Then I call my cuzsis. She says, "You talk to your brother?" I said, "Ah shit, no. What happened?" She told me my brother called my cuzbro and asked who was coming to the birthday bash? Cuzbro told him several names including Jana's. Bro says, "Jana is coming?" Cuz tells him yes. Then bro asked,"Who invited her?" Cuzbro says, "We did!" Bro says, "Well, I am bringing the ex and this is not going to be good." Cuzbro tells him he is sorry, but he is not uninviting Jana. Jana has been to all the events with us for years, including the past four years with my brother's last girlfriend. Bro hangs up. He then calls back and again asked who invited her. Phone went dead, battery, I guess....

Okay, I have to call him back. I do. He asked me, "Is Jana coming tomorrow?" I said, "Yes." He asked, "Who invited her?" I said, "Cuzbro and cuzsis." Bro said, "This is bad. Ex will not come if Jana is there!" Here is where I go OFF. I told him that it has been ten years since he dated Jana and the ex should get over it. He concurs. But, he says, it ain't gonna happen. I told him that Jana has been to all the events and there are a group of women, Jana included, who sit together and laugh until we fall down at these parties. He said he knew, but the ex still wouldn't come. I said, "Look, this is not a welcome the ex back to the family for the fourth time party, it is cuzbro's birthday party!" "And we were not asking Jana not to come!" Not that it was my decision anyhow, not my party. Besides, she is so much more fun than the ex. Then I told him that we have excluded Jana from events like our annual Christmas parties, because the ex was back. I told him we would not do that again. I told him she is our friend and we don't treat our friends like that. Then I mentioned that drinking and smoking at a hippie type backyard party is not the ex's cup of tea anyhow. At least it never has been before. "Did she really want to come anyhow?" My brother said, " I don't know." Then he says he has to go back to work and hangs up....

I called the cuz's back, made them put me on speaker, so I didn't have to repeat it. Told them what happened and cuzbro said, "Hey, it is my party, I invited Jana long before he even got back with the ex." He hoped they would still come and get over it....

So, last night. My brother and his family were no shows. We had a blast. A ton of food. A ton of beer and spirits. I had a beer. I was driving. Awesome music, lots and lots of laughs. A great time. At one point my cuzsis answers the phone and I see on caller ID, it is my oldest brother calling from Kansas....I knew immediately, that my youngest brother had called him for support. He got NONE. My brother told my oldest brother, "When you call them, let them know I am pissed that they chose Jana instead of me and my family!" My oldest brother told me, "He knew I would call you guys." He told my brother the same things I did. Get over it. My brother told my oldest brother to ask his wife to get her answer as far as how the ex was feeling. Oldest bro said, "I don't have to ask her, she would say the same thing! It's been TEN years."

My oldest bro was very disappointed in my youngest brother because he wasn't thinking of this as a celebration of cuzbro's birthday, but a coming out of his son, to play the guitar with the Porch Bastards. He has wanted everybody to hear my nephew for a long time. He would get my nephew every other weekend and we would all get a call to listen to my nephew play the guitar. So, that was the real reason my oldest brother thinks my youngest brother was pissed about not being able to come to the party. Not just because his ex is living in the past. I thought the same thing, but I didn't say it. I did agree with him last night though. So, my oldest bro was of no help to my younger bro, in getting any sympathy.

We stayed six hours and then dropped off Jana and her daughter and came home. Hub had to leave early for a meeting in Malibu this morning. Didn't want to stay too late as the drive home was an hour or so. But, we had a blast and I am sorry my brother et. al, could not wake up and get over their issues. They would have had a good time and we would not have to play this whole thing out next time there is a bash! UGH....

Life is too short to play these games. They are going to miss out on so much if the ex holds on to her anger. And my nephew is missing out of spending time with his cousins and other relatives as well. Not to mention my brother, who didn't come to a party he surely would have enjoyed. And, who knows, the ex may have never even seen Jana at a party that big and spread out! And after ten years, she may not have even recognized Jana! LOL...BTW, Jana looks great! But she would never want to be back with my brother, ever...She has a great life as a single mom of a very intelligent thirteen year old.